Confession Time…

You’ve heard of shortcut-takers, well I am a shortcut-maker. The problem is, that I often try to make shortcut where there is no shortcut to be had.

Recently my wife and I decided that we (which is wife language for you) were going to refinish our hard wood floors.  So a couple of weekends ago I set to the task of sanding and reconditioning the floors of our nearly 100 year old home. And as would be expected, I encountered some difficulty with getting all of the old finish off.

At this point, I could have stopped and thought through the best course of action, but that is not how a “career shortcut-maker” operates. Instead I tried every other option that was directly at hand first. I “adapted” tools to work outside of their design hoping they could get the job done. Then, instead of getting the right sander, I went to Lowes twice to get heavier sandpaper thinking it would cut through my fuss. Finally at 8:00 at night, I resigned to getting a stripping agent and adding another step in the process. I realized that in my quest to not add another component (I wanted to sand, stain and seal), I had wasted most of the day.  Had I given in to the real solution in the first place, I wouldn’t have lost so much time or spent as much energy spinning my tires, going nowhere.

My effort to be a “shortcut-maker” is a lot like the way people approach their eternity. They have set in their mind that there has to be another way to “fix” their relationship with God, a way that doesn’t require them to yield their life to Christ. So they try everything else: moral living, benevolence, philosophy, mysticism, even Unitarianism—anything but accepting Christ as the only Way to God.

Why do people do this you ask? I submit that, just like my stubbornness with our floors, their stubbornness keeps them from admitting that they are not capable of creating their own solution. They are trying to be a “shortcut-maker” for their eternity. In the end, the result is the same; wasting time and energy only to come up unfulfilled and still lacking.

With Easter just around the corner, I pose this question. Are you trying to make your own shortcut to God? Why not skip all of the “alternatives” that will still leave your need unmet and your goal unrealized? Christ is the only option that completely answers the question of our eternity and standing with God.

Why wait till the end of the night to come around?

Time with the author…

Have you ever had the opportunity to meet your favorite author? Maybe it was at a conference or even a book signing. Were you star struck? Were you able to get some time to talk to them, maybe even ask some questions about their writings that you have come to enjoy?

I am not a person who is star struck by celebrities, but I have enjoyed the few instances I have had to sit down with an authors that I enjoy readong and pick their brain for a few minutes. It makes their writings come to life. It gives even more depth and clarity to their words. There is no substitute for spending time with the source and creator of the material that we read.

Recently I have seen the fullness of this first hand. Last summer I spent three weeks in the Philippines with my senior pastor, Grant Edwards. For those who don’t know him, Grant is a successful pastor in Springfield. He is the Senior Pastor of Fellowship Church which he founded 40 years ago. Beyond that, he is an accomplished writer. Many years ago, God gave him a vision to develop strategies and materials for increased discipleship within the Church, and has led him to write books on that topic. And God is using his efforts. Currently First Steps (click here for website) is in Asia, Europe, Russia as well as America.

While we were in the Philippines, the Asia staff and Board of Trustees of this ministry as well as local pastors who use his material had opportunities to spend time with Grant. I was impressed how high the level of their excitement was each time they  were able to sit down with him.  Many of these people had to travel great distances to join us for the day. Some of them started with a five hour walk to reach the point where they could be bused to the location where we were meeting. You could see the anticipation they had to hear him talk about a material that they have been familiar with and using for the last 20 years. They were on the edge of their seat to hear about what God has been leading Grant to begin writing about next. They were so excited to “spend time with the author” of the First Steps material.

I was actually caught somewhat off guard. You see, I have known and worked for Grant for six years now. I sit in meetings with him weekly. I hear about the sermons and teaching ideas that he is working on all the time. And to be honest, it can become familiar and doesn’t always move me when I know that a meeting with Grant is coming; (Sorry Grant).

But watching these meetings in the Philippines made me stop and think. It did not take much time for reflection to become conviction. I realized that when it comes to “spending time with the Author”– with God, I am disappointed to say I approach it less like my asian brothers and sister treated their time with Pastor Grant. I tend to approach it more with the same posture as I do about spending familiar time with my boss. Please do not misunderstand me, I do not dislike spending time with Pastor Grant. It is just that it has become…routine.

Why is it that when I wake up in the morning, walk down to the kitchen to get my coffee, and then settle into my “devotions chair” I do it with the approach of another routinely scheduled meeting? The reality is that each morning I receive a private invitation to sit down with the Author and Creator of the Universe,  the Almighty Maker of Heaven and Earth! Put that way, the thought of getting out of bed before the sun comes up seems completely worth it. Afterall, God does not ask me to walk five hours to meet him, just to walk downstairs.

The hard question that you have to ask yourself is “Which of the two is my attitude when it comes to spending time with the God?”

Are you like the filipino brothers and sisters who were very eager to spend time with Grant… ready to see what he is going to challenge them with next?

Or are you more like me, who has let that relationship get so familiar that it no longer stirs you with the excitement that it should?

Psalm 63:1-3

 ¹ You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
I thirst for you,
my whole being longs for you,
in a dry and parched land
where there is no water.

 ² I have seen you in the sanctuary
and beheld your power and your glory.
³ Because your love is better than life,
my lips will glorify you.

An Unlikely Hero…

Have you ever noticed how seemingly unimpressive people can turn out to be individuals of great influence? Today I want to tell you of one such person.

He is my friend Steven.

Steven, along with his family, and I go back to the beginning of my time in ministry. His older brother was one of my students when I first started working with teens. Both Steven and his brother were part of our youth group, both were soccer players that I had the privilege of coaching, both went on mission trips with me, and both have returned as college students to serve as summer interns. Both have the same nose and last name… and that might be were the similarities stop.

Steven’s older brother is a clean-cut, outgoing, athletically built, “joe next door” kind of guy. He has a passion for teaching and enjoys being in front of crowds. He dresses like he is trying to get a sales job at American Eagle and he recently entered (and placed) in a body building competition. In a room of all american guys, he blends right in. And that is not a bad thing.

It is drastically different however from Steven who has always marched to a “rogue” beat… which is often a beat that most people don’t understand, or even care to learn. He has a style that is all his own. He wears long sleeves, gloves and a toboggan hat all year-long–even outside in the biggest heat waves of summer. He favors army fatigue pants with boots over jeans and tennis shoes, and he is a force to be feared in the online gaming world.

Steven is quiet and seems to be reserved. He has a sense of humor that takes some getting used in order to even know when he’s joking. To top it off, he has learned how to write fluently in Dragon Language; which is how he journals in case you thought you would read up and figure him out.

Yes, the average person is usually left scratching their head after a first encounter with Steven. Even more bewildered are the looks that I saw last summer on the faces of some teens’ parents when they met this unlikely staff person. Suffice it to say, Steve did not fit the mold.

But there is more to Steven than most people know, like his huge heart for people as an example. A few summers ago, while in Chicago working with inner city children, our team would enjoy down time by cooling off in the shade while waiting for the next group of kids to arrive. But not Steven. He spent his breaks in the middle of the parking lot playing with any kids that were still hanging around. He would take turns giving them scooter rides across the hot asphalt–still sporting his gloves and toboggan! That summer, I remember that Steven was usually the first out of the van at the kids camp and the last one to get back in. See what I mean? The guy has heart!

Steven still continues to impress me. Just this week he gave me another pleasant surprise. Steven, who is now in his second year of college, came home this week for Thanksgiving. He brought home his girlfriend for her first holiday celebration with his family. Most college students (and even some adults) would have left it at that. But that is not the way Steven operates. On the way home Steven picked up a teen who used to go to our youth group until the guy’s living situation changed and he had to move away to live with other relatives. Steven drove out of his way to pick this guy up and brought him over to our youth Lock In on Tuesday. Then he was spending the rest of the thanksgiving break with Steven and his family. There is that heart again.

I am so proud to say that I know Steven. I am proud to say that he has been part of our team on several occasions. But most of all, I am proud to have been able to play a part in God’s work in Steven’s life. Steven is a lesson to all of us how God judges and works on the inside of people.

Steven should serve as a reminder that even when someone looks out of character externally, it may be somewhat like the Superman’s costume; a disguise that actually helps them stand out as a hero.

Way to go… Mittens! (Sorry… Old soccer nick-name)

Is it really Apples to Apples…?

Disclaimer: Even as I start this post, I am processing the events of the past 24 hours. I do not know for certain where I am heading or where I will stand by the end of this article, but it promises to be an interesting ride.

I woke up this morning to the same major news story that I had seen last night on the late news; Steve Jobs, founder and CEO of Apple, dead at age 56. This news came less than two months after stepping down from his famed role as visionary leader for the most profitable tech company in the world. He was the man who reinvented everything; the computer, the phone, the way we buy and listen to music, even the way we get our news and read books. He had set the pace that other tech producers where running to keep up with. Yes, Mr. Jobs’ life was a cumulative narrative of re-engineering life.

And now he is gone.

Every news channel showed some variation of the same. Candles (albeit on an iPad app) burning outside one of the many Apple Stores with notes and flowers to the face behind the brand, even people giving testimony of how much they looked up to him–how their life would never be the same with him no longer with us.

I think that was the part that struck me most. The people’s reactions. People were literally moved to tears over Steve Jobs’ passing. And I would expect that from Apple employees, from his friends and co-creator types, and even from journalist in the tech world as they wonder what they are going to write about in the next news cycle. But I don’t think I expected the tears for Joe Blow on the street corner. But there it was, this twenty something college kid staring intently into a camera, telling America how his life is never going to be the same without Steve Jobs. It is safe to say that Mr. Blow on tv had never met Mr. Jobs, given the computer giant was known for keeping to himself. Its most likely that this guys only connection to the Great-One, was through his latest iDevice with the logo of a partially eaten fruit on it. Yet here he is with real tears rolling down his face.

To be honest I was not sure how I felt about that image. Actually, I think I’m still confused.

Don’t get me wrong–As I sit here beating these words out on the keyboard of my MacBook Pro, flanked to the left by my iPad which is keeping me up to date with calendar events, and my iPhone 4 to my right–I can feel the sting of loss for a creator of a product I have been known to identify (some would substitute “obsess” ) with. But I wasn’t moved to tears by a ‘hole’ this man’s death is leaving in my life. But should I be?

As I searched for a perspective to help me answer that question, I was reminded of another iconic death in my lifetime: Lady Diana’s. It was actually the day before my senior year in high school (sorry if that makes you feel old), and I remember waking up to the disbelief of her passing. While I was not the engrossed snob of Lady Di’s work that I’ve been accused of towards Apple, she was someone I was familiar with because my mother had followed her life since entering the spot light. And, looking back to the days and weeks that followed,  I do remember how her life effected so many people. I was aware of how she had brought much global awareness to issues and causes that needed attention. I recall how people with greater understanding of the monarchy than I, explained the influence she had worked to provide for her sons, the Princes. I remember seeing a lot of people crying– and feeling that it was appropriate for them to do so.

But what about Steve Jobs? Surely his lifetime achievement has changed the world. Here’s the guy who took the computer from something that was understood and used only by geeks in their mother’s basements to become something their mothers use for countless every day activities. He changed the way people stay in contact with each other, how they process information, and he stream-lined it so that everyone could experience that change together.

And yet, Lady Diana was a national figure. Losing her, for many, was just like losing President Kennedy for Americans and naturally the emotion should be the same. Steve Jobs, while very accomplished at his trade, at the end of the day was still only discovering new, neater and more powerful packages for the his Apple computer (overly simply put). And still, both Lady Di and Steve Jobs have changed the way the world sees itself for generations… within the foreseeable future at least.

I guess my hesitancy with all this emotion comes from a healthy distrust of modern hero-worship. While I think that both lives are worthy of being mourned– we have to agree that as a culture we have given over a lot of emotional control to these iconic celebrities. And when one of them passes, (especially unexpectedly) we are collectively given to feelings of overwhelming loss.

Is all of this healthy?

Is this the M.O. we want our children to follow suite with as they grow older?

At the end of the day, can it not be enough to simply celebrate the good achieved by the individual and to sympathize with their friends and family for the loss of a loved one?

Reader; I will conclude with these last two questions–and I welcome your feedback.

Is it appropriate for some people to be mourned by the collective whole… and if so… how do we know which is which?

Is it really Apples to Apples?

My head is still spinning…

August 21, 2011

Six years ago today, I was sitting, looking out a window, trying to collect my thoughts after having my world turned upside down. I knew that from that day forward, nothing would ever be the same. Things that were important to me yesterday seemed pointless and empty now. Plans and goals were now outdated, dreams seemed to fade into a thing of the past. Simultaneously, my mind was being flooded with thoughts I had never considered till now. My senses were at a heightened awareness, picking up on dangers and needs that before now would not have registered in my perception. To say that I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.

What was this traumatic thing that happened to me six years ago you ask? Six years ago today, I became a father.

Our eldest daughter was born at 3:00(ish) in the morning on August 21, 2005. She was the only of our children not born though caesarean delivery and because I have a (limited) background with medical training, our doctor let me deliver her. So I was the first person that she met as she entered this world. We had decided on boy and girl names beforehand, so I was able to introduce her to my wife for the first time by name. To say it was “a powerful moment” does not seem to be emphatic enough.

While I remember so much about that day, what probably struck me deepest was the overwhelming sense of love that I instantly had for this little girl. It was not something that I had to grow into, it was there already. This love was so intense that I was already thinking about all this little person was going to need from her mother and I for the rest of her life. I was aware of the sacrifice that would be needed, the costs that would arise, the duty to be vigilant for dangers, the patience in teaching, the loss of personal agendas, even the hours of tea parties and Barbies that were awaiting in the years to come. And yet I also knew without a doubt in that moment that I was willing to do all of this and more. It was automatic, a no-brainer like no other.

After all, now I am a Dad.

Outside of my relationship with God and with my wife– being a father has been the most fulfilling role I could ever have. I am constantly looking at my daughter (and her three subsequent siblings) with a fatherly pride. I am moved by how much my kids are growing, how they are learning about God’s love for them and watching that love for God blossom in their lives as well.

But they are not the only ones growing in their love for God through their lives; I am too. You see, I had never understood God’s love for me the way that I do now. He has calls Himself my father and me His son. God has that instant, complete and selfless love for me that I feel for my kids, except with Him it goes farther and deeper. While I would tell you that I would gladly trade my life for one of my kids, He already did.

He did that for me and for you for one reason, because He likes to hear us call Him Daddy. Not simply master or owner, He wants to be our father.

It’s that thought that keeps me on point with my family. I can be a good dad because I have Heavenly Father who defined fatherhood by sacrificing everything to love me.

Turning the world upside down…

On September 15th, 2010 something monumental happened. On that day, 872 people arrived at St. Clare’s College in Canberra, Australia with the hopes of being a part of something, no–of an event that would change history and effect the world. On September 14th, the world had been as it had always was, but after this it would be forever different. Indeed after the event of September 15th, a mark would be made on the space-time continuum that would literally go down in the records of this rock we call earth.

And so they arrived, by whatever form of transportation available. They gathered together, received some last minute instructions, exchanged some glances of encouragement and solidarity, took a deep breath and… begin patting their heads and rubbing the bellies.

And just like that they changed history by being the largest group of people in a single venue to simultaneously pat their heads and rub their bellies, according to the Guinness Book of World Records.

I don’t know about you, but I know exactly where I was and what I was doing at the exact moment that record was being cast in the cement of time… I was sleeping. My guess is that most of us were because this occurred in Australia and it would have been in the middle of the night for most of us. And to be perfectly honest, if I would have known ahead of time that this was being done…I still would have been asleep because outside of the staff at Guinness there are only 862 people who really care (for you math wizards, I am guessing there were at least 10 people that happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time and were drafted on the spot).

I know this because I too tried to be a part of Guinness history. When I was in college, we tried to organize the World’s Largest Super-Sit (where everyone stands in a close circle, facing the back of the person in front of you, and simultaneously sit down on the knees of the person behind you). Apparently it didn’t count because I couldn’t find record of it anywhere. Even if it had, I don’t believe that any of us who participated thought that what we were doing was going to change the world. Yet we all still had a desire to be a part of something that the World would take notice of…even if just in the annuls of a book written mostly for bathroom reading.

I think that the desire to be a part of something big, something that sets history, or marks a record is in some way present in us all. Because as monumental as the event at St. Clare’s college was, it is buried on page 18 of 132+ in search for “most people” on the Guinness website. That tells us that there are gobs of people just like the 872, and me, who want to say that they were a part of something that changed the world…even if it was small and insignificant.

In Acts 17:6 we read about another group that did make a drastic impact on the world around them:
And when they could not find them, they dragged Jason and some of the brothers before the city authorities, shouting, “These men who have turned the world upside down have come here also,”

Its a story about persecution of Christians and the animosity towards those who followed Christ. But yet there is something about that phrase, “those who have turned the world upside down…” that is attractional to me. It was an indictment from the people’s perspective, but if I were Jason– I think I would feel honored.

Oh, to be a part of something so big and influential that it would be described as turning the world upside down. This perspective of a true agent of change challenges my desire to be one. As I spend quiet moments thinking about Jason and the rest of the first century Christians, I am reminded that in order to turn our world upside down, we must be people who are unpopular, who do not conform with the world around them, and who know that things may not end peacefully for them in the end.

Given those standards, I am led once again to the question which I use often as a challenge to myself and the students I work with;

“If we woke up tomorrow and Christianity was suddenly illegal, would their be enough evidence in our lives to convict us?”
I leave you to ponder that, I am going to resume my search of world records.

Maybe if I search Worlds largest circle sit…

It’s not the Great Suggestion…

…it’s called the Great Commission (adapted quote from Hudson Taylor).

Recently, I have been convicted that we (the church) tend to approach the command to GO and make disciples as something more of a suggestion or a hint.

Check out the video below and then ask yourself this question; “What can you do in the next few weeks to walk out the Great Commission not the Great Suggestion?”

 

Nuptial Nuances…

Recently Julie and I took the family to Little Rock Arkansas to attend my cousin Chase’s wedding. It was a good trip, and an even better time with extended family. But the highlight, indeed the reason for the 12 hour ride in the Family Utility Vehicle (see “You Can’t Church It Up” post) was to see Chase and Christen become husband and wife.

It was a beautiful ceremony, and the reception was stunning. It was the first reception featured in a “High Society Page” that I have ever attended. Even as “professional talker” I couldn’t describe it well enough to do justice. So I won’t try. Just know that it was stupendous.

However, the beautiful ceremony and the stunning reception paled in comparison to my favorite part of the event. My favorite part was watching my 5-year-old’s response to the nuptials. She was glued to the whole thing.

Picture this. The music starts, the grandparents are making their way to their seats, and all the guests are getting settled for the ceremony. All except one. My daughter Mackenzie is sitting high on her knees in the pew, her hands firmly gripping the bench in front and her eyes are wide open. She is entranced.

When the doors opened to reveal Christen standing there, Mackenzie was giddy with excitement. She might even have been as excited to see her as Chase was. When the officiating pastor opened with prayer, this little girl responded by sitting back on her heels and folding her hands under her bowed head–the picture of a pious posture. As soon as the “amen” was given-she snapped to her previous pose.

I watched this go on for a few more moments before I tapped her on the shoulder and motioned her close enough to whisper in her ear “Sweetheart, do you want to do all of this some day?”

For the first time since the ceremony began, Mackenzie looked away and peered right into my eyes as she said with conviction. “Daddy, I AM going to do this someday.” Then she went right back to watching the magic that was happening in the front of the room.

A few days later, I remembered that exchange with my eldest princess. I was moved by the way she was so excited for Chase and Christen’s wedding, and by the lack of doubt that one day she would be caught up in the same glorious event.

Revelation 19:6 & 7 says:

⁶ Then I heard what sounded like a great multitude, like the roar of rushing waters and like loud peals of thunder, shouting: “Hallelujah! For our Lord God Almighty reigns. ⁷ Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready.”

Watching my little girl gaze with exhilaration at a wedding she had been waiting to see for only a week, knowing that she is already in anticipation of her own “special day,” made me ask myself: “Am I as excited about the return of Christ as I should be?”

In more than 10 passages, authors of the Bible use the imagery of a wedding celebration to help us understand what it will be like when Christ returns for His bride, the church. Seeing Mackenzie’s excitement, it is easy to understand why. They wanted us to know that it is going to be a mind-blowing, sensory overloaded, attention captivating experience like nothing we have ever imagined. In fact, when that time comes, each of us who have a personal relationship with Christ will look just like a five-year-old, straining not to miss a single glorious detail.

But, if someone were to ask us today,”Are you living in anticipation of seeing the return of Christ?“, would we be able to respond with the same conviction as Mackenzie responded to me? Are you and I as baited with the same excitement for the return of our Savior and Lord as we could be?

As we should be?

I wish I could always answer that question with a resounding yes. But, I can say this; I will never look at a decorated limo, a decked out reception hall, or a sanctuary glittering with wedding candles the same way again.

A five-year-old taught me that.

Extra, Extra: Unimpressive fathers make big impact.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

⁵ Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. ⁶ These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. ⁷ Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. ⁸Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. ⁹ Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

“Impress them on your children…” This passage has been the cornerstone of my professional vision.

As the family pastor of our church, I begin each of our child/infant dedication ceremonies with this passage. I want parents to understand that this is the greatest, most important commitment of their lives for the next 20+ years.When I sit with our youth staff, I emphasize the fact that their role is to be a resource for parents who are impressing God’s commands on their children.

For me, as a father and a pastor, this passage embodies what Godly parenting is all about. And there is no substitute for parents that miss this with their children. There isn’t a children’s ministry effective enough, or a youth pastor influential enough to offset the impact of an unimpressive parent.

This week, I came face to face with this reality. I have been working with a teenager, we will call him Derek, for the past five years. He started participating with our youth ministry during his sophomore year in high school. He is outgoing, ready to get involved and eventually joined the team of teenagers charged with leading our youth group. (We practice the philosophy that teens should be the youth group, not just attend it.)

Derek was the only one in his family who had a relationship with Christ, but he was committed to changing that. After some convincing he was able to get his sister to come to youth group, and his mom to start attending worship on Sundays. Even though his sister decided church wasn’t her scene, Derek’s mom did make a profession of faith.

During his time in our high school ministry, Derek and I developed a significant disciple-discipler relationship. Derek confided in me that his father was an alcoholic and that they had not been close for many years. I became his go-to-guy for advice and assumed the role of father-figure that he was missing. I brought other guys around him too. All of us trying to provide for him what he was missing at home.

Talk about them when you sit at home …(v.7)

And Derek was growing. His knowledge of the Bible was increasing. He was always bringing friends to church, expressing how passionate he was that they meet Christ as he had. He was a success, and an encouragement to me that I was making a difference in the lives of teenagers.

As with most seniors in high school, spring of his senior year brought Derek a strong case of senioritis. His attendence started slacking off, and he was blowing off some of his commitments. Red flags started going up. Derek was approaching “freedom” and it was changing him.  I started hearing that he was partying again, and dating girls who where not “like-minded.” He was starting to slip.

Derek’s downhill slide turned into a free fall, when he was arrested for a felony theft. Derek swore this was a once in a lifetime mistake, that he was just trying to do something for his mom, (his parents where in the middle of a divorce at the time) that the opportunity presented itself and he fell to temptation. I worked with the police and prosecutor, promising to see to it that he made restitution and did community service. In exchange they reduced his charge to a misdemenor and gave him probation. The other guys and I in Derek’s life doubled our efforts.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. (v.6)

For a while it seemed to work, Derek really seemed to be trying to straighten things out. He found a job, paid all of the restitution, completed community service and was terminated from probation. He was involved in church again and was active with our college ministry.

At some point Derek decided that he was going to live with his dad. He felt bad that his father was left alone in the divorce. That was when the bottom dropped out.

I can’t really break the next sequence down, but I can tell you that it ended with my friend Derek, being sentenced this week to one year in prison for a 3rd degree felony charge of sexual assault. I have no doubt that he didn’t mean to assualt anyone. Nevertheless, that is what happened, a crime was committed. And Derek is on his way to a state prison for the next twelve months.

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength (v.5)

As I left the courtroom, I found myself staring at Derek’s father. He seemed so lost. It was like I could read on his face the thoughts of his mind. “How did this happen? How is it that my son was just classified as a sexual offender and is being sent to prison?”

I wanted to scream “Because you failed to make an impression! Maybe you didn’t know how or why, but you didn’t impress on your son the importance of following God’s commandments, and that has had an incredible impact on his life.”

But I didn’t.

I know what you are thinking, “Jeremy, your friend made his own choices. He put himself in the positions he was in, he carried out the actions that got him in trouble. He is responsible for what happened to him. You can’t blame the parents.”

You are right… and you are wrong. Derek is responsible for actions. No one made him do the things that got him in trouble.

But his parents have contributed to this as well. The above passage clearly puts on parents a responsibility to help their children know what God says about how they should live. But, because they were not following Christ in their home, Derek’s parents missed that mark.

And that made a greater difference than the hundreds of hours that were poured into Derek by me and the other guys in his life.

I’m not writing all of this to point fingers at Derek’s parents. My heart breaks for them. I am committed to helping them walk through this and hopefully, know God more because of this experience.

My point is simply this:

Parents, especially fathers, will make a great impact in the lives of their children. The nature of that impact depends solely on how effectively they impress God’s commands onto the lives of heir sons and daughters.

Will teenager boys and girls still fail? Sure. But the positive impact of a godly and influencial father will never leave them.

Raise up fathers! It’s time for us to take the lead in life… the lives of our children.

“You can’t church it up…”

“You can’t church it up, Hudson. It is still a minivan.”

That is the direct quote from a friend when I was trying to tell him about the vehicle I had gotten for my wife, without actually using the word ‘minivan.’ I thought that if I described it as a cross-over, a FUV (family utility vehicle), or a truck with sliding doors it might actually not make it sound so un-manly. My friend wasn’t buying. And he was right, not matter what I called it, it was still a minivan.

As I have continued my study of John 15 and Jesus teaching his followers about the importance to of being grounded in Him–the concept of church-ing it up comes to mind.

I have to admit that as a “branch” attached to  Christ (the True Vine… verse 1), I have a tendency to try and church up my own branch. In other words, I have this drive to make sure my branch is full of fruit (success). Not just any old fruit, I want to have the shiniest fruit around. I look at my christian life, at my vocation as a pastor and I find myself wanting to make my life look “successful” by christian standards-whatever those might be.

But verses 4-5 gives us a better perspective;

(4)Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. (5) I am the vine, you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. (ESV)

That last phrase has really resonated with me lately. In moments when I am frustrated that things aren’t going the way I have planned; when God’s direction messes with the direction I have set, this tells me that as a branch I am just a fruit holder. I don’t produce the “successes”, I just hold it. Any fruit comes from God, and apart from Him I can do nothing on my own. In that light, I am reminded that it is as much up to God what He choses to accomplish through me as it is up to the vine how much fruit appears on the branch.

So instead, I am to measure my “success” not by how much fruit is produced in my life, but by how closely I am abiding in the vine. For all of us, success is being aware that nothing good can happen in our life unless we are plugged into the vine.

A few questions to consider:

1. Do you find yourself comparing your “fruit” to those of other Christians?

2. Do you ever think “if I could just get on this ministry, or be asked to lead this effort” then I will be know that I am a ‘successful’ Christian?”

When you and I start to slip back into that way of thinking, all we are doing is trying to “church up our branch.“

And just like renaming a minivan– it just won’t work.